kYm

shake_itboys @ 9:52am: when will be the last time i say "im through crying over boys"?

bad night/headache morning & to top if off i cant even have a drink. weed doesnt even seem appetizing right now.
lost hope

shake_itboys @ 8:46am: my uncle (favorite uncle) had brain surgery. he has brain & lung cancer, my cousin (his daughter) just had her son, which they were just told has down syndrome. my moms boyfriend is having surgery today & starts dialasis thursday (i dont think he's even 50 yet) & i just left hospital. i almost lost my right kidney. what the hell? hah

im glad to not be in pain any more. not happy to be stuck at home until thursday with NO pay. thumbs down.

i had the strangest dream during my maybe 2hrs of sleep last night that my stepmom lived in my complex. it was a long drawn out story that ill spare you. very odd though. especially since i keep "request to add as friend" on fb & she keeps hitting ignore. hah. i just remembered that i forgot to tell my dad about my trip to st.vincents. guess ill send him a text. why do i let this bother me?? he was never around. for what reason do i need him in my life now?

i want all the crazy shit to stop & my bad karma streak to stop or whatever it is thats going on & for my life to be normalish again.
im missing someone right now.
terrence cody is being a bad kitty.

bigpinkdress18 @ 5:49am: .
You won't find what you need
until you stop looking for it.

I'm done.

shake_itboys @ 10:40am: in a weird state
i hate not being able to say the right thing. you know, there's some people that just have comforting words & years of wisdom & kind advice to give. ..i dont have that skill. i just wasnt born with it. or i havent learned it. im really a compassionate person those things just dont come out of my mouth. what does is "im sorry" "you need a hug". what kind of shit is that when youre going through something so extreme & unfathomable to me? i have no clue how to begin to imagine how you feel. i dont know. i try. sympathetic, empathetic, apathetic, PATHETIC. i am pathetic.
i hope to make things a little better.

also hoping that tonight happens. id understand if i didnt, but i cant lie & say i wouldnt be disappointed. whats noose.new. & i dont mean that in a bad way..its just that things come up. and stuff..
i have a fever..i think? im cold. ..dont have heat again..but do have a new stove? srsly hate jh berry.


on to the wknd. roll tide roll.

bigpinkdress18 @ 3:43am: .

angelwings01 @ 9:39pm: Hey.
I am happy.
Things have been easy, simple and manageable. Whenever I get happy or comfortable I worry that things will fall apart... but I hope things continue on as they have been. It feels so good to be at peace and to not worry about getting by.
I am going back to Washington soon.
I am making some noodles and heading to bed.
I have been in the gym, working things out.
Goodnight.

shake_itboys @ 8:52pm: im kind of forced to put up shit that i really dont want to. i do it, though, because of the situation. normally i wouldnt. normally i would say fuck it. but i guess its different when you have such a care for someone. i dont think ive ever felt this way before about anybody.
i just want to hibernate until all of this is worked out & things can be how the should. this is so much harder than i could ever imagine. ive cried so much. & its out of being genuinely sad. real sadness.

im in so deep. maybe im in over my head. i dont care. its worth it to me to be in some sort of mental anguish over this.
my mom told me not to get my hopes up.

nothing in my life makes sense right now. i sound like a god damn broken record.

shake_itboys @ 4:30pm: teeheeahahahahah
dealbreaker:

You’re An American Apparel Model

Okay, so we’ve been dating for a while now and you have yet to put pants on. I’m sorry, but I can’t introduce you to my family while you’re wearing a see through mesh bodysuit. I just don’t think my grandmother would appreciate an up close view of your vagina. Just a hunch I had. Ugh. This is really hard for me to say, but- I’m sorry, can you cover your nipples for ONE second? This is kind of important. I don’t think this is working out, and- no, I don’t know where you can get some more coke, but that’s sort of the prob- it’s really hard for me to have this conversation with you when you’re writhing around on the floor like a sexy jellyfish. Use your bones like people do. Also, you’re always rubbing your eyes and looking bewildered like you just woke up from a nightmare. Have you been sleeping on the floor again? Oh, this is pretty troubling, but you seem to have a habit of yelling “Dov!” while we’re having sex and then bursting out laughing and THEN crying. You know that’s not my name, right? And how many “corporate retreats” does your company take you on? You’re always leaving for days on end, and you always wake up in dingy basements. Your “job” is starting to sound like you’re just being routinely kidnapped every few days. Well, I guess that’s it. I actually feel a lot better, thanks for finally listening. Babe? Sweetie? You okay? Oh shit. Oh no! Wake up! Does anyone have any cocaine? Perhaps a Polaroid camera? Some sugar free Red Bull, maybe? Get me a flash drive with Girl Talk on it, STAT! A life is hanging in the balance!

lucretiagodwin, posting in big_boob_show @ 10:45pm:

 

 

bigpinkdress18 @ 5:39am: Stuck in reverse.
Back to sleeping alone
with only myself to blame.

bigpinkdress18 @ 2:24am: -
My head is in the right place, but my heart can't breathe.

shake_itboys @ 6:34pm: i really dont do many things to try to "prove a point" or be stubborn. people seem to take me being logical as doing so pretty often though. i was wearing someone's jacket & i was smoking a cigarette in it & they say "youll have to wash that" (they dont like smoke smell)..so i take it off. the person automatically assumed i was being an asshole. i was just solving the problem. ..thats it. nothing more. pfft. & then of course i get upset.
i probably cry or almost cry once a day. ive got to stop getting my feelings hurt so easily. im sure these pills are causing some sort of chemical imbalance & are fucking with my emotions. but i should just stop being such a sappy bitch... or maybe people should just stop being mean to me some days. i may be "just one of the dudes", but im not really a dude.

i really have a feeling shit is going to get chaotic when all the changes happen. i hate having to be so vague about all of this. soon enough (i hope) i wont have to be. who knows. im so terrfied of getting my heart broken. shit.

im missing that certain someone right now, but today was really nice. & i have clean clothes on top of that. SCORE!

not looking forward to tomorrow. hope i dont run out of gas because i literally dont have a dollar to my name.
outies.

eroticmaker, posting in rate_my_boobs @ 11:21am: Сон голой разрисованной красивой девушки

shake_itboys @ 1:27pm: watching Eulogy.

i hope tonights plans go as they should. last night was pretty wretched. i guess lack of food/pain killers/beer/stress is the perfect cocktail for vomit city. im still not feeling put back together yet. we met a pretty chill chick from reno last night..that was an upside. along with having a beer with the newest 21yr old friend. i really just dont understand that whold KGTD shit. i just happened to be at bottletree before that started going-on. i think its weird & obnoxious. so many people seem to think otherwise. ...odd.

i dont rly care to celebrate halloween this year. i want to have a chill night at home with my favorite person & terrence cody. watch movies, smoke weed & avoid everything that went wrong last night.

lets hope for the best.

shake_itboys @ 8:23am: i had an awesome morning/breakfast. ah shit its casual friday, sweet.

angelwings01 @ 11:21pm: Hey.
I am happy. Things are going pretty well.
I wish you all well too.

shake_itboys @ 11:44pm: my state of mind has been completely whack today. its basically flip-flopped happy/pissed the majority of the time ive been awake. (& TC & i napped for most of the day.) i need to be way more emotionally stable in order to handle this situation with the delicacy it deserves.

im hoping the changes that are suppose to happen dont fall through. i try not to get my hopes up too much but i cant help but to be really really excited. something might work out in my favor for once.

tomorrow is casual friday. i figure i may as well work & hold on to my sick days for a good vacation (fingers crossed) this winter.

servedup, posting in rate_my_boobs @ 7:22pm: How about these jugs?
Application
Name: Jessica
Age: 24
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual/Queer
How big are your boobs: 40E (I got them measured at Victoria's Secret, and they told me they didn't carry my size)
Why should we love your boobs: They are succulent.
Would you ever consider piercing your nipples? Why or why not? Hell no. I am very sensitive there!
What is your favorite joke? What did one strawberry say to another strawberry? "If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam."


( my tits )

shake_itboys @ 12:05pm: scenario; im sitting at the bar, quite obviously upset, talking to my good friend. you walk up, (after you'd been following me around all night) coked-up, trying to ask me whats wrong.. now keep in mind the whole night ive been trying to avoid conversations with you. really trying to not even face your direction. id rather sit alone staring at a wall than talk to you!.. but youre so persistant in trying to hold on to some sort of wish that i still give two shits about you. well, guess what..i dont. fuck you, cocksucker.

there are certain people..i really wouldnt care at all if they died a horrible death. not that i wish itd happen, but i might laugh just a bit if it did. or might have a few fizzy drinks to celebrate it...who knows.

i had two teeth cut-out tuesday. the pain meds make me kind of emotional & kind of not give a fuck what i say..so my bad.